Monday, May 25, 2015

Carrots' evaluation form

"Hey, guys?  Do you have a minute?" Carrots asked.

Certainly.  What's up?

"Well, now that I've been here for a while and feel more settled, I think we should start working on my Easter Bunny Skills Evaluation.  Can you look at it with me?  I have a copy right here."


Sure, let's do that.  Wow, this is quite an extensive list...



Well, okay.  Hmmm.  It says here that the first thing we have to check for is whether you have the "necessary cuteness" to be an Easter Bunny.

Carrots looked worried.  "How are we going to decide that?"

Just stay put for a minute.  We'll back up and take a look...


 What do you think, guys?

"I think he's got it covered," Patch said.

Agreed.  Cuteness...check.  What's next on the list, Spunky?

"Fluffiness," Spunky replied.

Oh, that's an easy one to check, too.  Again, just stay put, Carrots.


Mmmm.  Pretty fluffy over here on my side.  What about you, Patch?

"Plenty of fluff over here too," Patch said.

Spunky?

"This is a very fluffy bunny tummy," Spunky replied.

It's unanimous.  Fluffiness...check.
 
Seems like Carrots is off to a great start on his skills evaluation!  But the items are going to get harder and harder as time goes by.  We'll keep working on his skills so he can fulfill his dream of becoming a full-fledged Easter Bunny.

Till next time...





Monday, May 18, 2015

Caffeine hangover

Oooooohhhhhh.  Oh man.  I don't feel so good.  Is it time to do the blog already?...

"Droopy, are you okay?" Patch asked.



Not exactly.  I have a huge headache.  

"You probably have a caffeine hangover," said Spunky.  

Yeah.  Last time I sampled some of our human's cappuccino and then...and then...I don't really remember much. 

Oh boy.  Hey, you guys, I didn't do anything too... embarrassing...after I drank the cappuccino, did I?

"Errrrr...Here, try this cold cloth for your head," Patch said quickly.





That's nice.  It does feel better.  Thanks.

"And make sure you drink lots of water," Spunky said.  He came forward with a water bottle.



Good advice.  Thanks, Spunk.  Well, I've learned a valuable lesson:  I should definitely avoid caffeine.  But it worries me a little bit that Patch avoided my earlier question about what I did after drinking the cappuccino...

Anyway, I'll see you next time!  Don't worry, I should be back to my normal energetic self by then.



Monday, May 11, 2015

A guest host, and caffeine overload

...know why I have to do it.  Why can't you ask Spunky to--

(Psst, Patch!)

What?

(We're rolling!  You're on the air!)

What?!?  


Oh.  Oh, er, um.  Hello there.  Everyone.  How are you...today?  I am fine.

(No, no.  You're supposed to say, "What's up, dogs?")

Oh.  Okay.  Er...What's up.  Dogs.
...Sorry.  I'm not good at this.

(You're doing fine.  Just relax.)

Uh...what should I say now?

(Why don't you explain why you're guest hosting the blog today?)


Oh.  Right.  Well, you see, ordinarily it would be Droopy here in front of the camera, but he's, um...

Oh man.  What's that word again?


(What word?)

You know, the big long word that means you're sick. Starts with an "I"?

(Incapacitated?  Inebriated?  Indisposed?)

 Indisposed!  That's it.

 

(Actually, come to think of it, "inebriated" works well in this case, too.)

Inebriated?  What does that mean?

(Drunk.)



Oh.  Yeah, I guess you're right.  

Ahem.  Well, you see, a while back, we got a cappuccino drink pack in the mail from Little Fox...


...and our human decided to try it.  So she brewed up a nice cup of joe...

Er...sorry about that.  And then she left it out on the counter.  Unattended. Which, if you ask me, was not a very good idea. 

(Hey!  It was only for a minute.  I had to answer the phone!)

I'm just calling it like I see it.
  
(Whatever.  Let's move on.  A little less editorializing, okay?)

Anyway...to make a long story short, Droopy decided to try the cappuccino too.


And as you can see, he's now completely off the wall.  Our human says it's from the caffeine.  That's why I had to fill in for him today.

Err...how long do you think it'll be before the caffeine wears off?

(No idea.  Could be hours.  Could be days.)



Oh dear.  Well, um...that's the end of the story, so I guess I'll be signing off now.  Don't worry...I'm sure Droopy will be back to normal the next time you hear from us.  I mean, I hope....

Monday, May 4, 2015

Therapy session #2

Guten Tag, my friends.  Vonce again, I am Professor  Dogmund Freud, Dogtor of Psychology und therapist und friend to troubled dogs everyvair.  



Did you know I vonce verked vith a very famous television dog?  I cannot tell you her name, of course.  But after her TV show vas over, she came to me vith recurrent nightmares in vich her master, a young human boy, alvays got stuck down a vell.  Can you imagine?  Everytime you sleep, you dream about your master gettingk stuck down a vell.  A terrible thingk, ja?...

But I digress.  Thank you for joiningk me today.  Today vee continue our zessions vith Mr. Spunky Bones Dog.  Again, if you remember, he has graciously agreed to allow recordingk of his zessions.

Guten Tag, Spunky.

"Hi, Doc.  Good to see you again."


Gut to zee you, too.  Zo tell me:  How haf you been doingk since our last meetingk?

"Pretty well, thanks.  I try to remember what you told me, about uniqueness being on the inside, not just the outside."

Das ist gut.  Haf you seen your brothers again since last time?

"Yup.  In fact, we're going to play golf together this weekend."  

Fantastisch!  It zounds like you are gettingk along vell.


"Yeah.  They're all really great to talk to.  Well, except for Bill."  

He is still zee quiet vun, eh?

"You bet.  Can't get a word out of him.  But actually, Doc, today I wanted to ask you about some dreams I've been having."

Of course.  Haf a seat.  Are you comfortable?  Gut.  Now...tell me about zees dreams.


"Well, one of them is pretty scary.  I'm being chased, but no matter how hard I try to run, I can't move."

Vow.  Very scary indeed.  Vat is chasingk you?  Can you describe it?   


"I don't know.  I never get a good look at it.  I just know it's after me, and it's up to no good.  And...um...."

You hesitate.

"Don't laugh."


Of course not.

"Um...whatever it is, it's a lot bigger than me."



Mmmm-hmmm.  Imagine zat.

“Sorry?  What did you say?”

Err…nothing.  Yes.  Zis is most fascinatingk, Spunky.  I think vee must explore this further if vee are to make any breakthroughs.  Next time vee meet, I haf an exercise I vood like to do vith you...